she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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