Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
