nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Randomize
