Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
