Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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