I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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