u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
