from now on my penis is your penis
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
