11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
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