porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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