Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
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I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
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She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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