hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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