you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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