did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you didnt know i had herpes?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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