um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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