...is it true? will i see you next weekend
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
She's JV to your varsity
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
ra ra ra ah ah
sexting lady gaga style
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.