Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.

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(703): I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts. http://tfl.nu/s7w5

Replies (12) Good night (635) Bad night (1198)
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(989): View more from Michigan

I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa

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(989): I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa http://tfl.nu/0rxp

Replies (27) Good night (544) Bad night (3380)
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(775): View more from Nevada

Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.

(504): View more from Louisiana

Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.

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(775): Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk. (504): Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera. http://tfl.nu/hakn

Replies (196) Good night (1977) Bad night (16645)
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(847): View more from Illinois

Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.

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(847): Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie. http://tfl.nu/jaub

Replies (22) Good night (583) Bad night (4226)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever

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(859): I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever http://tfl.nu/61m6

Replies (33) Good night (6139) Bad night (829)
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(240): View more from Maryland

you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters

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(240): you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters http://tfl.nu/0u7p

Replies (30) Good night (5107) Bad night (1156)
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(317): View more from Indiana

I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.

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(317): I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward. http://tfl.nu/qgop

Replies (24) Good night (1908) Bad night (3408)
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(818): View more from California

it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.

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(818): it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny. http://tfl.nu/aua9

Replies (13) Good night (5200) Bad night (1127)
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(313): View more from Michigan

Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.

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(313): Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ. http://tfl.nu/xfic

Replies (14) Good night (6429) Bad night (1165)
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(573): View more from Missouri

Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.

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(573): Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home. http://tfl.nu/anic

Replies (7) Good night (496) Bad night (1519)
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(313): View more from Michigan

I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!

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(313): I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!! http://tfl.nu/x69b

Replies (9) Good night (1554) Bad night (511)
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(425): View more from Washington

My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with

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(425): My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with http://tfl.nu/lkbr

Replies (2) Good night (862) Bad night (353)
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(561): View more from Florida

I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.

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(561): I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left. http://tfl.nu/6w8g

Replies (4) Good night (888) Bad night (213)
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(206): View more from Washington

Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?

(360): View more from Washington

What are you gonna do about it?

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(206): Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king? (360): What are you gonna do about it? http://tfl.nu/zg4q

Replies (7) Good night (825) Bad night (228)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard

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(843): I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard http://tfl.nu/pmd0

Replies (1) Good night (414) Bad night (178)

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