Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.

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  (415): Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events. http://tfl.nu/5em3
  Replies (16) Good night (2132) Bad night (706)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.

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  (919): The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day. http://tfl.nu/2twt
  Replies (38) Good night (17412) Bad night (1592)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.

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  (919): Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night. http://tfl.nu/apjs
  Replies (14) Good night (4469) Bad night (580)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.

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  (715): I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on. http://tfl.nu/3jom
  Replies (5) Good night (913) Bad night (2886)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.

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  (515): The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker. http://tfl.nu/o20c
  Replies (15) Good night (802) Bad night (2840)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.

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  (270): Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house. http://tfl.nu/zb8n
  Replies (8) Good night (2460) Bad night (1044)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week

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  (334): thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week http://tfl.nu/vfml
  Replies (13) Good night (2961) Bad night (852)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.

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  (425): i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach. http://tfl.nu/qjk8
  Replies (1) Good night (1063) Bad night (1050)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.

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  (240): All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson. http://tfl.nu/a7nh
  Replies (7) Good night (2314) Bad night (790)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.

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  (317): I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck. http://tfl.nu/ppsw
  Replies (10) Good night (942) Bad night (1493)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.

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  (763): she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick. http://tfl.nu/by59
  Replies (5) Good night (606) Bad night (1265)
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  (681): View more from West Virginia

  Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.

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  (681): Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no. http://tfl.nu/cmwe
  Replies (12) Good night (1667) Bad night (384)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you

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  (586): I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you http://tfl.nu/0vyd
  Replies (4) Good night (1175) Bad night (321)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.

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  (+44): When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public. http://tfl.nu/y1be
  Replies (2) Good night (549) Bad night (220)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.

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  (508): I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp. (303): Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex. http://tfl.nu/y0zv
  Replies (8) Good night (636) Bad night (189)

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