I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
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she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
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Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.