sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
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Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.