Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO