my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize