I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
