who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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