No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
