My room smells like vodka and shame
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
