dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize