Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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