therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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