I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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