that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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