I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
