So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
