He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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