started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Randomize
