We won't sleep together?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
