STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize