I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
