the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
