Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
dude. I can hear the air.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
