That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
