On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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