I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
