i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
