i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
