hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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