Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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