i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
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I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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