Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
