I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
