at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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