clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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