I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
