# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
