What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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