we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
