He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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