Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
